Zankokuna Ame
by vietblueart
Summary: Third Year of the Bunkyū Era (1863). A man feared as one of the strongest of the Shinsengumi, the captain of the first unit and a prodigious swordsman. A woman wandering as a lone goze, a blind musician whose shamisen music fills up her silence. As the cruel rain pours, their paths cross and their secrets are revealed. It's only a question of whose secret will kill who first.
1. Deluge

**Day I — Deluge**

* * *

_Third Year of the Bunkyū Era (October 24, 1863)_

Despite the rain, the city of Kyoto remained bustling: colorful umbrellas bobbed back and forth beneath her window, their wielders sloshing through puddles with a _clack-clack_ of geta clogs and chatting cheerfully. Rain dribbled from the eaves of the buildings and filled the road with puddles, and the sun shone its watery light through the clouds. The market was busy as always, the sound of arguments and bargaining and the distinct jingle of coins wafting up into the air.

Her room, on the other hand, was quiet. The walls of her room were clean but dingy, with frayed tatami mats and a water stain on the ceiling. In one corner where the plaster was crumbling, a large pack, a sedge hat, and a folded traveling haori rested. Her staff lay by her side, as usual. The elegant shamisen in her lap and even her simple kimono seemed to be sharp contrasts with her dismal surroundings.

She bowed her head slightly, black hair falling in front of her blurred eyes as she picked up the tortoiseshell plectrum. With a skilled motion, she struck the three strings; the notes began to float out into the drizzling rain. Then after a few seconds, her voice followed, reverberating and clear.

"_He waits for her in the downpour,_

_His hair is wet and his umbrella torn,_

_But alas, where is his loved one_

_Who vowed to wait forever for him_

_As she cried under the cruel rain?_"

As she sang, she inclined her head, closing her eyes. The tiny bell dangling from the pin in her hair chimed softly with that motion.

* * *

Night fell, and with it the sky. As darkness descended on Kyoto the heavens opened up so that the morning drizzle became a total storm. Sheets of rain poured down to blur the edges of the buildings, thickening the darkness and swelling the puddles until they resembled a sea. No one was out and about now, having rushed for shelter when the storm broke. The restaurants were clearly benefiting from this: warm golden light filtered out from the shuttered windows, along with the sound of laughter and _sake_ cups clicking.

Of course this grated on his nerves like nothing else. His straw _zori_ sandals were soaked — to say nothing of his tabi socks — as he and the others waded through the puddles. This was unfair; the other captains had not had to patrol during the storm! He cursed under his breath the fact that he had the last shift.

The patrol division was unmistakable. Sometimes when they passed by a restaurant, customers who'd gone outside to cool down from drinking would see them, recognize the light blue uniforms, and stalk back inside at once. Not that he cared. If he could serve the Shinsengumi well, that was all that mattered.

"Though hot tea and cakes would be _great_ right about now," he couldn't help growling under his breath. A tickle rose up in his throat and he lifted his fist to cough violently. "Damn cold," he muttered, then cast a glance backwards at his men. They all wore sedge hats as meager defense against the rain, rainwater streaming from the edges to partially obscure his vision. However, despite the cold and the wet, their faces were set and focused. His lips quirked slightly. He had no doubt that they were probably shivering in their haori.

At that moment a piercing scream shattered the dark. His head snapped around immediately; already a grin was spreading across his face. _Finally! Something interesting, hm?_ He turned to his men who had stiffened in surprise. "Welp, I'll see you guys back at headquarters!" With that and a jaunty wave, he spun on his heel and ran off.

"A-Ah, wait…! Captain!"

He ignored their startled calls and soon disappeared into the storm. His excitement was palpable; it wouldn't have been a surprise if he actually started humming. Still, it was rather deceiving: his hand gripped the hilt of his sword subtly, and there remained a sharpness in his enthusiastic gaze.

It wasn't all too hard to find the source of the cry. In a narrow alley, the metallic smell of blood hit him at once. Wrinkling his nose, he went in anyway to find the body of a young woman. She was facedown in a murky puddle, and when he turned her over he wasn't surprised to see that her throat had been torn out completely. Blood was everywhere, staining the front of her kimono, draining with the rain, splattered over her face. He glanced her over again then stood, sighing.

"What a mess, what a mess." He smirked widely as he spoke. "San'nan-san is going to be upset. Isn't he keeping an eye on you?" This time he laughed and turned, a slow grin on his face. "Well, I'm not really complaining. You just saved me from a terribly boring night."

Eyes peered at him from the dark, glowing bright crimson. Tongues lolled out from between sharp teeth and they panted like wolves — it was made especially disconcerting by the fact they wore the Shinsengumi's uniform.

"Four of you, huh? So then," he said cheerily. However, he was leaning back into a samurai stance, reaching for the hilt of his sword. "Which one of you wants to try me first?"

Snowy white hair flashed in the blackness as they all charged. He snickered and drew his sword in the same moment a blade lashed out. He swung his sword upwards to block it, then shoved it aside to thrust his blade forward. It caught in the creature's chest and it let out a gurgled shriek as its knees crumpled. However, he simply ripped his sword out and struck at another of the creatures. This one was able to block his attack and attempted to slash him across the shoulder. But he dodged and spun around to slash a creature that had been charging up from behind him. Turning on his heel to complete the spin, he raised his sword and sliced downwards on the second foe. His blade bit deep into its chest and kept slicing down, slashing open its stomach and chest. It collapsed to the ground where it twitched pathetically for a few seconds, before it finally stilled. The last creature shrieked to see its comrades felled. A dull fear lit in its feral eyes, and he chuckled to see that.

By the time it raised its sword, he had dashed forward and blood was now spurting from the gaping wound in its throat. With a shocked expression, it fell forward, mouth open as it released a weak, dying screech that soon faded to silence.

Okita Sōji turned to survey the bloody scene. His quick eyes took in the sight of the mutilated bodies and he made a sound that was half-sigh and half-huff. A handkerchief was tugged out from his kimono and he wiped off his blade before sheathing it. _Ah, well, it was fun while it lasted_, he thought with a roll of his eyes, running a hand through his hair. _Guess I better go find the others. I hate clean-up work._ Okita sighed again and then turned to leave.

The soft chime of a bell made him freeze. Slowly, he glanced back around.

There was a woman standing at the edge of the carnage. She had on a traveling haori, a heavy pack on her shoulders as well as a cloth-wrapped object that was evidently a shamisen. Worn zori sandals shod her feet. A sedge hat like the one Okita wore shaded her features, dribbling rainwater around her. In one hand was a wooden staff, the end planted firmly in the mud. Her kimono was simple but lovely, black with a spray of russet leaves at its hem and accented with a bright red collar.

The kimono was also splattered with blood, as was her blank face. She stared at him with eyes completely void of emotion, perhaps far too shocked.

_How?! How did I not notice her there?!_ Thoughts chased one another in his mind and panic began to rise. However, Okita quickly tamped it down and looked at her with narrowed eyes. _Okay, okay. Think rationally now. Rationally. She shouldn't have seen all of this. So she's seen too much. Way too much._

_I can't allow her to live after this._

His shoulders relaxed and, with the utmost casualness, Okita began to walk towards her. Making a final decision apparently set his mind at ease; he wore a friendly smile as he approached. His sandals splashed loudly through the dirty puddles, and he noticed a flicker in her eyes when he came closer — and when he drew his sword. Okita grinned not-very-ruefully and lifted the blade to her neck. She inhaled sharply when he put the slightest pressure on the sword so it cut. A bead of blood started its way down her skin.

"Sorry," said Okita, sounding not sorry in the least. "But you weren't supposed to see that."

The rain continued to pour down around them, diluting the unpleasant tang of blood and soaking them both. A chill was in the air, and not just temperature-wise. Her lips parted.

"You…"

Okita's hand twitched slightly at the sound of her voice and he frowned. Her voice was quiet, soft, but certainly not afraid. That bothered him.

"You smell of blood…"

A heartbeat passed and her eyes fell closed. Okita sucked in a breath when she began to fall forward and his arms snapped out to catch her. She slumped against him, unconscious, her staff slipping from her fingers to clatter onto the drenched ground. Okita watched it fall, and in that moment he realized something vital.

Of course.

* * *

"Dammit… Where could he be?"

"Haha, don't be so worried, Toshi. Sōji's more than capable of taking care of himself! He probably has a good reason for returning late. Let's just give him a few more minutes, all right, Toshi?"

"Kondō-san, you are too lenient with him! And I am _not_ worried!" The man Hijikata Toshizō crossed his arms, however, resigning himself to wait further albeit with obvious reluctance. If Hijikata was a man of discipline, then tardiness was the bane of his existence. But Kondō Isami was not only the leader of the Shinsengumi but his close friend as well, hence his grudging compliance.

"Heh, I bet you anything that Sōji just ditched and went to the red-light district! Watch him come back with a girl on his arm," Nagakura Shinpachi snickered, punching the arm of his friend Sano, wiggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Harada Sanosuke sighed and rolled his eyes at Shinpachi. Though Shinpachi could be debated to be the stronger of the two, Sano could be considered the more sensible and agile one. To some degree. "You know Hijikata would kill him if he did."

"That's what I'm hoping for!" Shinpachi grinned gleefully and Sano had to groan.

A younger boy sat beside the two; it was Tōdō Heisuke, captain of the Shinsengumi's eighth unit and the last member of the trio. He leaned back on his hands and laughed. "That'll be more than you ever get, Shinpat-san!" he snickered.

"Why you little—! I could get a hundred more girls than you, twerp!"

"Sure, old man! That's definitely why that geiko in Shimabara slapped you for touching her!"

"I told you I was drunk! It wasn't my fault!"

This started a heated argument between the two that escalated in volume until Hijikata, whose forehead had been twitching in growing irritation, finally slammed a powerful hand on the floor. Immediately the room went silent.

"Both of you _be quiet_. You're giving me a migraine," the vice-commander snarled. He lifted his hand to rub his temple, sighing.

"Easy there, Hijikata-san," chuckled Yamanami Keisuke (or "San'nan," as they all called him), the general commander of the Shinsengumi. "I'm sure Okita-kun will be here any sec—"

"Oi!" The door slid open to reveal Okita's grinning face. "Talking about me behind my back, are you now?"

Yamanami lifted his eyebrows, the corners of his mouth twitching. "Why, speak of the devil," he remarked.

Hijikata, however, was much less amused. "You are _late_, Sōji," he said, frowning darkly. "I hope you have a very good reason for abandoning your men like that and running off!"

Okita scratched his head in an embarrassed manner, though perhaps his smile was more wolfish than sheepish. "Actually, I do. I was taking care of a few of our 'fallen ones,' see."

At that, a grave expression fell over San'nan's features. "Is that…right… How many?"

"Just four. They were easy enough to deal with."

"I see… They must have escaped without my knowing. I seem to have been overly careless. I apologize, Hijikata-san, Kondō-san. Forgive me." The bespectacled samurai turned to bow deeply to the commanders, his expression regretful. The vice-commander simply gave a curt nod.

"No matter, San'nan-san. Just be sure it does not happen again."

"I understand." The general commander let out a tired sigh and straightened to take off his spectacles. "Thank you, Okita-kun."

"Though that's not really all." A sly grin was spreading fast over the young man's face, one that spoke nothing but trouble. He lifted up one hand to reveal he was holding a rope. "I caught this one as well." And with a dramatic flourish, he pushed the door open to step into the room, tugging on the rope so that the woman came in after him. Her wrists were bound before her, and she hesitated on the threshold, her long bangs shadowing her eyes.

While Shinpachi assumed an expression that clearly said, _So you _did _go to the red-light district_, the three commanders had different reactions. Kondō looked back and forth between Okita and the strange woman with concern. Hijikata's expression was so taut it looked as though he might snap any second; Yamanami's unreadable face could be interpreted a million different ways — and none of them good. And their faces only darkened when they saw the blood splattered over her face and kimono.

"Come in, both of you, and close the door. Then we'll talk," said Hijikata in a low tone. His violet-tinted eyes were narrowed and his shoulders rigid. Only when Kondō placed a hand on his shoulder did he glance over, then relax minutely.

Okita cheerfully obliged, pulling the woman into the room before going to flop down right in front of Hijikata (an extremely daring move on his part). The woman, on the other hand, knelt on her knees to slide the door closed quietly, then she turned and pulled herself over to sit beside Okita, her head inclined. All eyes were on her, gazes either curious or sharply scrutinizing. It was obvious that next to her, Okita was feeling very pleased to have brought in an object of such attention.

She was a beauty, that was beyond doubt. Her skin was fair and pale which made a fine contrast to her dark hair. A black-lacquered pin held up her locks in a bun, from which the rest of her hair flowed down over one shoulder; a small, silver bell dangled from the pin by a white-and-red string. Long eyelashes shaded deep brown eyes, and she had a certain delicacy to her facial features, framed by her bangs. In spite of the condition of her clothes, she sat with her bound hands in her lap, silent and composed.

Looking at her askance, Okita found her rather suspicious himself.

"Now then, Sōji, how about telling us what happened? Leave out no details." Hijikata folded his arms into his sleeves and leveled both of them with a stern glare. But Okita merely grinned and shrugged, his mien nonchalant.

"Since you asked so nicely. It started off with me wishing for the heavens to open up and rain down hot tea and sweet bean cakes instead—"

"_Sōji!_"

"—but then I heard a woman scream and when I went to investigate, four of them attacked." With the woman sitting by him, he did not elaborate who was _them_. The commanders understood either way.

"I took care of them easily, no big deal. Unfortunately, she happened to be there when I did," he said and tilted his head towards the young woman.

"So then why exactly…" Hijikata ground out between gritted teeth. His eye was twitching from strain with the effort of reining in his irritation. "…did you bring her _here_?"

"Ahh, well, I figured you'd know better what to do about her!"

"'What to'—!" The vice-commander stopped and breathed deeply, exhaling in an annoyed huff. Okita watched him with delighted amusement.

Kondō smiled at his old friend, patting him on the back. "Now, now, Toshi! Let's not be hasty about this." He looked over at the young woman with a kind face. "Hello, young miss, it's nice to meet you. What is your name, if you don't mind my asking?"

When he addressed her, she lifted her head slightly, though not quite looking at him in the eye. It was a moment before she answered. "…Asuka. My name is Mōri Asuka." She spoke in a soft tone that was barely above a murmur; Kondō smiled, relieved she was willing to talk.

"An honor then, Asuka-san. I am Kondō Isami, the leader of the Shinsengumi. Beside me with the scary face is Toshi— er, I mean, Hijikata Toshizō, the vice-commander. This is Yamanami Keisuke, our general commander, and the young man beside you is Okita Sōji. Then over there is—"

"Kondō-san," interrupted Hijikata, in an utterly exasperated tone. "Why are you disclosing so much information to her?"

"E-Eh? Well, I just thought…" The older man blinked, clearly surprised at the objection.

Shinpachi snickered behind his hand. "Heheh, leave it to Kondō-san to introduce us to a prisoner!" he said, laughing. "You're way too polite, _Kyokuchō_."

"Ah…well…" Kondō's protest trailed off with a helpless gesture apparently supposed to mean _She's a woman_. Shinpachi, Sano, and Heisuke just laughed.

"It doesn't matter," Hijikata broke in, glaring at Okita pointedly. "Sōji, I'm going to ask you one more time: Why. Is. She. Here?"

Okita rubbed the back of his neck and shrugged. He might as well tell them now, since they haven't seemed to figure it out yet. Although the way Asuka kept her head low like that probably didn't help. "Mm, well… How would _you_ deal with a blind woman, Hijikata-san?" He smirked, glancing up from under his eyelashes to watch their reactions.

Hijikata stiffened. Yamanami raised his eyebrows. Kondō gaped in utter shock. "B-Bl—" The commander looked at the young woman again; it was as if they suddenly all saw the milkiness of her eyes, the way she never looked at them directly. "Oh… I am a fool!" Kondō covered his face with his hand, closing his eyes in total embarrassment. "To think that I did not realize something as important as that…!"

"It's pretty obvious she's blind, though, isn't it?" Okita said (rather unhelpfully and a tad smugly).

"Still! Ahh, forgive me, Asuka-san, for not realizing it sooner," Kondō apologized, bowing to the woman with a flustered expression.

"Oh… No, it's nothing to apologize for," she replied, looking surprised. He nodded but looked ashamed nonetheless.

During this whole exchange, the man named Saitō Hajime had sat silently by. Taciturn by nature, he had not spoken once but had surreptitiously scrutinized the young woman Asuka, his sharp eyes narrowed. Now, however, he spoke, and when he did the entire room fell quiet.

"You there," he said. "You are a _hanare goze_, aren't you?"

Asuka's eyes seemed to flicker and she turned towards the direction of his voice. Her face was carefully blank as she nodded. "Yes. I am."

"'Goze'?" Heisuke echoed, cocking his head in confusion.

"Blind women who travel and perform music in exchange for alms," Saitō elaborated, not taking his eyes off Asuka while he did. "I have never met one myself, however. I've only heard of them."

Asuka did not respond to this.

"But regardless, Okita is right," said Yamanami then, ever the analytical one. He reached up to adjust his glasses; his expression was serious. "We're in a difficult position now with that fact. Asuka-san." The young woman raised her head. "Tell us, how much exactly did you...hear?"

She was silent at first. Then, very softly: "I heard their screams."

A tense silence encompassed the room. The expressions on the men's faces were grave and no one said anything more for several minutes. In the quiet, Okita glanced sideways at the goze to see her face suddenly smooth over, expression blank and careful. His green eyes narrowed but nothing more gave her away.

"I apologize, but I must ask you something important." Her voice was what broke the tension. The men looked over at her, curious. Asuka lifted her head so that this time, her eyes were visible to all of them; the blurriness of her cataracts could be seen. "I have come to Kyoto to look for someone, a samurai. His name is Hisakawa Katashi. Might you know him at all?"

"Hisakawa Katashi…? Hmm…" Kondō frowned and looked thoughtful for a while, but finally sighed and shook his head regretfully. "No, I'm sorry. I don't think I know anyone by that name."

"I see… Then please forgive my impudence, but…" She placed her hands on the floor in front of her and bowed low, her forehead nearly touching the tatami mats. "Please, will you allow me to stay here in your headquarters to continue looking for that man?"

There was stunned silence from everyone. Okita was the first to recover. "Hahaha! You're a pretty gutsy woman, aren't you? What makes you think you're in a position to be asking favors from us? Besides…" His grin became a slow smirk, a distinctly suggestive note to it. "What would you give us in return?"

"Sōji!" Kondō scolded, appalled.

Asuka straightened, sightless eyes cast downwards. "I know that it is not my place to be requesting such a thing from you right now, but I have to find this man. I don't expect that you will let me stay here for nothing — I _will_ work for it. I cannot see but I can cook and clean. And…" She bowed her head. A lock of hair slipped to frame her face alluringly. "I can please as well, if that is what you wish."

"T-That will be enough of that!" Kondō stammered and waved a frantic hand. He then had to clear his throat several times to regain his composure. "You are brave to offer yourself in such a way, my dear, but we are not the sort of men to take advantage of a young woman like that." (Okita lifted an eyebrow but said nothing.)

Hijikata heaved a sigh and rubbed his forehead. "Even so, San'nan-san is correct that we're in a difficult position. This is the first time anyone has witnessed us dispatching the 'fallen ones,' let alone a woman, and a blind one at that."

"Guess you're saying we can't just kill her then?" Okita said with a shrug and a cheery grin. "Hm, in that case, why not have her stay here? Maybe she can be someone's servant. Or maybe mistress! I bet you two would look cute together, Hijikata-san!"

Violet eyes slitted and a muscle under Hijikata's eye twitched irritably. "Or maybe _you_ can take that job, Sōji. The one who makes the proposition should assume responsibility."

This time, it was Okita's turn to raise his eyebrows. "Excuse me?"

"Yes, that _is_ a good idea. It would be a perfectly valid cover for a captain to have his mistress in the compound. Even more so if she helps out with the cooking and cleaning." Yamanami nodded as he spoke, smiling guilelessly in response to the chilly glare Okita aimed at him.

"Very true! Although I suppose we'll have to continue discussing the details. But in the meantime, it's gotten late, and you should be getting off to bed," Kondō said with twinkling eyes. "Ah, there's still the issue of where Asuka-san will sleep, though…"

"No matter." Hijikata crossed his arms; Okita narrowed his eyes, swearing there was an air of smugness around the man. "She will sleep in Okita's room."

"Are you _serious_?" Okita threw his hands up, exasperated. "I can't even keep my room?!"

The vice-commander gave him a look. "You'd be killing two birds with one stone this way," he said sharply. "You'll be able to keep watch over her during the night, at the same time keeping up the guise that she is your mistress. We can't let the other men know who she truly is." Okita groaned and muttered something under his breath, scowling.

Apparently, he wasn't the only one upset about the arrangements: Shinpachi gave a very loud complaint. "Hey, that's no fair! How come Sōji gets to have a cute girl in the compound and I don't?!"

"'Cause no girl wants to stick around that long with ya, Shinpat-san!" Heisuke snickered.

"Shut up, you brat!"

Yamanami and Kondō both laughed, the latter bowing slightly to Asuka. "Take good care of Okita-kun, Asuka-san," the commander chuckled. She dipped her head in reply, the corners of her lips quirking a bit.

Okita groaned again and glowered at the vice-commander. "Hijikata-san, I'll get you back for this!"

"You can dream." The man merely lifted an eyebrow. "As if we will ever have another woman in the Shinsengumi compound."

* * *

Asuka and Okita were dismissed after another minute, and after they left, the room was thoughtfully quiet. Saitō gazed at the closed door with a pensive air before looking over at Hijikata. "_Fukuchō_-san, are you sure that was the wisest decision?"

The man glanced back. "It's funny that you should ask. I was wondering the same thing."

"You don't trust her, Toshi? I thought Asuka-san was a rather nice girl," remarked Kondō; however, his face was solemn, understanding Hijikata's suspicion.

Hijikata only frowned and fell quiet. When he spoke again, it was not to Kondō but to Saitō. "Saitō-san, you said she is a goze, didn't you?" The samurai nodded, and Hijikata continued, "What did you mean by she is a _hanare_ goze?"

The man lapsed into thought, his face composed as he sifted through the information in his head. It took a few minutes for him to respond. "As I said, I have limited knowledge on goze, but I believe that there are certain rules within their society that leads to expulsion from the group if broken. The members who are banished are called _hanare goze_."

"So she is alone?" Yamanami asked. When Saitō nodded again, Hijikata's eyes narrowed.

"I see… That's convenient."

"What? You think she's a spy or something?" Shinpachi piped in, glancing over from his observation of Sano and Heisuke's thumb-wrestling match.

The vice-commander made a dismissive noise. "I just don't like it. We know next to nothing about her, and just… She was able to get _in_. That bothers me most. She simply happened to be there when Sōji dispatched the fallen warriors. All the circumstances combined would have led to her being brought into our compound, no matter what. It seems too much of a coincidence to me."

Eventually, he sighed and began to stand up. "In any case, her request to stay here was surprising, but ultimately more convenient. Otherwise we would have had to hold her here against her will — or even kill her. Still…" He looked at the trio and Saitō. "Saitō, Sano, I want you two and Sōji to watch her. Don't let her out of your sight."

"Understood, Hijikata-san."

* * *

"Dammit, Hijikata-san," Okita muttered crossly as he untied Asuka's hands. "A mistress, right. I'm never going to live this down with Shinpat-san." He huffed and tossed the rope aside. Asuka rubbed her wrists wordlessly while Okita turned to open the closet, pulling out blankets and a futon and continuing to grumble. The goze turned her head when she heard the sound of rustling cloth.

"Ah… Here, please let me. I can do that myself," she said. She stood and carefully came over to take the blankets from Okita's arms. Okita let her do so, watching her kneel to spread out the futon with keen interest. However, as he watched, he noticed quite a few things. Mainly, he noticed that the red collar of her kimono was loose and slipped so that he could glimpse her collarbone and the shapely curve of her breasts. He smirked. _Small but not too small... Not bad._

That wasn't all he noticed. Her fingers were callused but slender. Her figure was graceful. When she bent to smooth out the covers, her hair fell lightly over her eyes in an attractive way. Also, minutes earlier he had decided to be gracious and give her a few minutes to wash off the blood on her face and kimono. That had certainly been a good decision, considering how much better she looked. He chuckled softly before stepping over. Asuka looked up at his approach but suddenly, before she could react, he grabbed her wrist and shoved her back, sitting on top of her. She gasped faintly, which only served to incite a chuckle from him.

"You do know, right?" he said in a soft, seductive tone. "What goes on between a man and his _mistress_?" His hand reached up to slip the pin out from her hair, locks of her black hair spilling around her shoulders. The silver bell rang mutedly when Okita set it aside, and he leaned down to put his lips to her neck. She sucked in a sharp breath, and he chuckled against her skin, his lips moving up her throat to her ear. His breath stirred her hair and she was still as he began to whisper in her ear.

"Listen carefully now," he said in a friendly tone. "Just a little warning in case you're not what you make yourself out to be — but try anything funny and I'll kill you. So run away or attack us or try anything against us, and I'll be very happy to slit your throat open. Understand?" He waited until she nodded, and then he pulled away with a cheerful smile. "Haha, good! Well then, you go on to sleep first, all right? I'll be back in a bit, I'm just gonna go wash off first" With that, he got up and waved over his shoulder happily as he left the room. The door slid closed behind him with a loud _clack_.

Asuka lay there for a moment longer, listening to his footsteps fade, her eyes closed. Then they opened blearily and she lifted herself up. Slowly, her sensitive hands started to move over the tatami mats, searching carefully. At last her fingers brushed against the lacquered pin and she closed them around it, picking it up to hear the familiar ring of the bell. She clutched it against her chest and her sightless eyes fell partially closed. Her expression was mournful.

"…Katashi-san…"


	2. Mist

_**Author's Note: Hello, and I apologize for not greeting you sooner! But that first chapter was a really long first chapter and I figured you wouldn't want to read more than you needed to, soooo... *laughs* But anyway, welcome to my first Hakuōki fanfiction! I love this series a lot, for the story and characters and especially the gorgeous artwork and animation. I hope I manage to capture its essence in this story; please tell me if I do. U v U**_

_**A few notes first - all the songs are fictional (meaning, I made them up) unless otherwise stated! Also, I've changed the date of Okita and Asuka's meeting (Day One) to October 24 rather than November 2 for certain reasons. I apologize for all the editing in the first chapter. But from here on out, I hope you enjoy the story! Feedback is deeply appreciated! ~ v ~**_

* * *

**Day II — Mist**

* * *

The morning came with a light, silvery fog. The heavy rain from the previous night beaded the grass like dew, and the deep puddles in the roads now resembled mirrors. The mist softened the sharp edges of Kyoto until the entire city seemed like a hazy picture from a dream. The scent of rain saturated the very air. It was incredibly surreal and incredibly beautiful.

Asuka pushed open the window, holding out a hand to feel droplets of rainwater drip from the roof onto her palm. Her breath emerged as white clouds of vapor. She couldn't see the misty view, but she could feel it, smell it. A cold freshness wafted against her skin and filled her lungs, bringing with it the air of winter. Very soon the rains will turn to ice, solidifying to snow and covering the land in white powder. If she were out playing for alms then, it would put drifts of frigid crystals in her way, chilling her to the bone so that her fingers would be numb as she plucked her shamisen. For now, however, the sky was clear and there was no sign of the inevitable snow.

Days like these were the ones that had her reminiscing most. It was a pity not all those memories were good ones.

She inclined her head, sightless eyes closed. From outside, the song of a few errant birds drifted into the empty room, filling the silence.

"Asuka-chan!" Asuka turned her head at the jaunty call just as the door slid open. Okita peered into the room, and when he saw her by the window, his eyes narrowed in pleasure. Perhaps it was because it was still early; he seemed in a good mood.

"Mm, good, you're awake! Hijikata-san and Kondō-san want to talk to us. Come on, let's get going." He spun on his heel and headed down the corridor. Okita had gone a good distance when he realized that Asuka had not followed him. Raising an eyebrow, he backtracked and saw her still standing there by the window. He blinked, then something seemed to hit him, and he promptly burst out laughing.

"…Ah…"

"What, worried I'll do something?" Okita managed to say between gasps. "Re… Relax! Haha, I was just kidding last night! Hahaha!" He practically fell against the doorway in his humor. Asuka's expression flickered. "Ha, or maybe you're worried about my warning? Don't be so uptight, that's only if you try anything. Though I am glad you're taking me seriously."

In that moment, his grin turned malicious, and in the next it reverted back to his cheerful mien. "But anyway, we're getting sidetracked. C'mon, Asuka-chan, Hijikata-san doesn't like to have to wait." He rapped on the door pointedly, chuckling.

Asuka hesitated for just a moment longer before her fingers splayed on the wall. She began to feel her way to the door, slowly but steadily, at times using the wall to guide herself and other times reaching out to make sure she wasn't going to bump into anything. Okita quirked an eyebrow when she stepped in close and, without realizing it, brushed her fingertips against his chest. Her hand snapped back as if she'd stuck it into a fire. "Oh… I'm sorry!" she apologized at once.

The first unit captain merely smiled and turned. "Let's go," he said, stretching as he walked down the corridor. "Ahh, we're going to be late for breakfast at this rate!"

Okita went along at a fair pace but still, in a few minutes he'd left Asuka behind. The goze had to feel her way down the corridor and that made her a lot slower than him. The young samurai paused to glance back at her, and upon hearing him stop, a small frown crossed her face and her effort to move faster increased visibly. Okita couldn't help but chuckle at her unconscious show of tenacity, and he turned and headed back towards her. She lifted her head to suddenly feel his hand close around her wrist.

"You're too slow," was all he said. He pulled her along behind him the rest of the way, humming under his breath. Surprise lined Asuka's face; she had clearly not expected him to guide her.

His hand was warm. The expression she wore faded to her usual mask of thoughtful blankness, which stayed even after they stopped in front of a door and he let go.

"Hijikata-san. I've brought her."

"Good. Come in, both of you."

Okita slid open the door and took Asuka's wrist again to lead her inside. Hijikata and Kondō were both seated on cushions, each holding a steaming teacup. Before them were three more cushions and a tray with the same number of cups. Apparently they were waiting for one more person.

Asuka was seated in front of Hijikata whereas Okita took the cushion nearest to Kondō. He plucked a teacup from the tray and slurped the hot liquid noisily, eliciting a grimace from the vice-commander. Kondō passed Asuka the other teacup and a warm "Good morning," which she accepted with a nod of thanks.

"So what's up? You worked out all the details, Hijikata-san?" Okita asked, though he made a face as he did so. It was clear he was still unhappy about the arrangement.

"Yes. We've decided on the matter." Hijikata put down his teacup and folded his arms. He leveled his gaze on Asuka, looking at her as he talked. "Goze-san, you will be staying here for room and board in return for work. There will be certain areas of the compound you'll be allowed access to, including the courtyard and the kitchen, but otherwise you _will_ be punished if we catch you wandering around somewhere you're not supposed to be. We have our men do the cooking in shifts, so you'll be doing it with them rather than by yourself. This is not because of your disability, mind you. It's to ensure that you don't slip anything into our food to escape or to kill us."

He watched her face carefully at this last part, but she only nodded, and he continued, "As we said last night, you'll be here under the guise of Sōji's mistress. I'm not asking anything unreasonable of you—" With this he threw Okita a glare, in response to which Okita raised his hands in surrender, grinning. "—but it's best to at least act close to him. Under normal circumstances we would not allow women in the compound, but Sōji is one of our unit captains. The men would not question him bringing a mistress into the headquarters, nor would they touch you in that case. Do you have any questions?"

"No," Asuka answered, bowing. "I understand completely. Thank you again for this."

Hijikata just nodded once, curt. Kondō was a little more sympathetic and smiled at her kindly. "In some lighter news, we're giving this back to you." He reached behind him to pick up the goze's staff. The commander gently took her hand to close it around the wood. "I'm afraid we had to search through your belongings, but they're all being put in Okita's room right now. I hope you have a comfortable stay here, at least."

Okita muttered something under his breath ("…still can't believe I can't keep my room…") and Asuka leaned back on her heels, holding the staff close. "Thank you for your kindness," she said quietly.

Just then, a light knock sounded on the door and it slid open. A slight, young man stood outside the room. His hair was short and dark save for a long ponytail in the back, and he wore a willow-green kimono top with black hakama. Sharp eyes flicked from face to face, lingering longer on Asuka's for a moment before he looked at the commanders and bowed.

"Fukuchō-san, you called for me?"

"Ah yes. Come in, Yamazaki."

The man bowed again and closed the door behind him. Okita caught his eye as he took the seat on Asuka's left and grinned, waving his hand. He got a flinty glare in return but laughed, having expected it in the first place.

Hijikata turned back to Asuka. "Goze-san, this man is Yamazaki Susumu, our medical advisor and one of our officers. He's been called here to check on your eyes."

This made her furrow her brow. "My…eyes?"

"Mm. There is of course the possibility you are only faking your blindness. We can't take that risk, and Yamazaki will know at once if that is the case," Hijikata added in a threatening manner. However, Asuka only seemed hesitant for another minute. Then she nodded silently, giving her assent for the examination.

Seeing this, Yamazaki bowed and turned to face her. "If you will, goze-san," he said in his polite way. "Can you open your eyes for me?"

Asuka frowned but nodded, and with some effort she managed to open her eyes most of the way. Yamazaki took out a small candle and a box of matches from his kimono. He struck one match to light the candle, then blew out the match; the acrid smell of smoke floated lightly into the air. Gently, he reached out to lift one eyelid up further, taking care to tell his patient exactly what he was doing.

"I'm going to hold up a light to your eyes, goze-san. If you see anything — anything at all — please don't be startled."

"Yes." Asuka didn't move, remaining still as Yamazaki picked up the candle.

The examination lasted about ten minutes. It was a fairly simple process: the medic moved the candle back and forth, slowly, in front of each eye, watching closely for any sign that she was following it. After the examination, he leaned back on his heels to blow out the candle, sighing and intoning a soft, "Thank you, goze-san." She silently inclined her head, and he turned back to the commanders.

"Well?" said Okita. He had been watching them with growing impatience and now looked at Yamazaki expectantly. The medic glared at him and spoke to Hijikata instead.

"She had no reaction whatsoever to light. What's more, her cataracts are severe and seem to have been acquired from a young age." He hesitated and glanced sideways at her. "I'm afraid it's no act."

"Understood, Yamazaki. Thank you for your help," Hijikata said, Kondō sighing lightly beside him. The vice-commander turned to Okita and Asuka and nodded once. "The two of you are dismissed as well."

"_Finally!_" Okita leaped up. "I'll leave the rest to you then, Hijikata-san! See you later, Kondō-san!" In one swift motion he bent down to grab Asuka's wrist and haul her up, pulling her behind him. The goze gasped and held her staff in close. Yamazaki sighed, cast the commanders a weary look (which one mirrored and the other laughed sheepishly), and stood up to follow.

"Okita-kun, that is hardly the way to treat a woman," he said severely as they headed down the corridor, a disapproving frown on his face. Although the medic stood four inches shorter than the younger man, he had a certain air of authority about him that most likely came from his profession.

Still, despite his pout, Okita defiantly held onto Asuka's hand a moment longer before letting go, his lips curved into a wide smirk.

"Hnn, but it's all your fault, Yamazaki! My food is probably cold now because you took so long," he groaned. The medic scoffed.

"I have no control over the temperature of your food. Nor did you actually have to stay for the examination, you know."

Yamazaki glimpsed back as he chided Okita, watching Asuka move along with them. With her staff she moved more quickly than she had without it, tapping the wood floor in front of her in a routine manner, but making sure to mind the feet of the other two men. Her staff was carved from a wood Yamazaki couldn't quite name. However, it looked sturdy and was a shade of red-brown that was darkened from age. There were several areas of wear on the wooden surface, and a groove where her thumb rested, a clear indication of habit. The staff was old, plainly old, and Yamazaki had to wonder for how many years it had served the goze.

He looked up at her face — and was startled by what he saw.

As a working doctor, he had encountered many different kinds of people. Sometimes they were people who were tired, tired of the effort they put in just to scrape by. Tired of having to struggle to survive, tired of being broken down only to struggle again. Sometimes, he found himself sharing in their exhaustion.

But for a brief instance, he had seen that same world-weary look in Asuka's face.

"Hm, here we are!" Okita's cheery voice jerked him out of his reverie, and he blinked to see them in front of the dining hall. The captain of the first unit threw open the doors and all but dove in. From inside, there were cheers and an aggravated shout of "You've finally come! You better make this up to my starving stomach, Sōji!" from Shinpachi, which were next followed by a clamor of voices and loud eating.

Yamazaki rolled his eyes and scoffed at their behavior, giving Asuka a rueful smile. "Be careful in there. They're a rowdy bunch, especially that Sōji."

She chuckled faintly and they bowed to one another, the medic turning to return to his office. But he couldn't help looking back, once, watching with an indecipherable expression as the goze entered the hall.

The room fell silent almost the instant Asuka came in; the _tap-tap_ of her staff suddenly became very audible. Surprised, no one said a word until Shinpachi managed to recover. "Oh, so _that's_ what took you so long, Sōji! Nice job!" He beamed and held a thumbs-up to the first captain, who just sniggered and lifted his soup bowl to his lips.

Sano snorted, getting up. "I doubt it's the _that_ you're thinking of, Shinpat-san. Here, this way." This last part was to Asuka, who gave a start when he took her hand without any warning. "Oh — sorry…! I'm not used to…you know." He looked embarrassed as he guided her to an empty seat beside him. "Well, I'm Sano, by the way! Harada Sanosuke, but you just call me Sano. A pleasure to meet you! That silent guy on your right side is Saitō Hajime, and the overly loud guy on my left is Shinpat-san."

"It's Nagakura Shinpachi! The strongest!"

"Right. And next to him is Tōdō Heisuke, but he's only a kid so you only need to call him Heisuke. And beside Saitō is Sōji, but I guess you already know him!"

Sano suddenly leaned in to whisper in her ear confidentially. "By the way, breakfast is rice with fish and miso, but if it tastes like crap, blame Heisuke. He was on cooking duty."

"I heard that!" came the indignant cry. "And no fair, Sano, you're already trying to steal her from Sōji! _And_ I'm _not_ a kid!"

Sano laughed at Heisuke's insulted expression. "C'mon, you're totally a kid! You cuddle with your blankets at night and everything!"

"That doesn't make me a kid!"

"Besides, she's going to need all the stealing she gets if she's _Sōji's_ mistress!" Shinpachi threw in with a guffaw. "Knowing him, he'll probably drive her away and she'll end up totally lonely and in need of our comfort!"

Okita put on an injured expression and placed his hand over his heart. "Even if it's true, there's no need to be so hurtful!"

That got laughs out of them and verbal barbs continued to be thrown between the two. Fairly soon the entire circle was chatting and bursting with laughter. Saitō watched the activity behind the rim of his teacup and sighed, leaning over to Asuka. "Please excuse them. They're always like this," he murmured.

"No, no. It's fine," replied Asuka, and for the first time since her arrival, she smiled.

* * *

"Asuka-chan!"

Okita opened the door to his room to find it empty. He pouted, disappointed, although the pack against the wall didn't escape his notice. It was open and things had evidently been taken out; a shamisen wrapped in blue cloth leaned against it. He gazed at it for a little longer before turning aside, and in doing so he noticed Sano coming up the corridor with a spear over his shoulder.

"Hey, Sano, have you seen where Asuka-chan went?" he asked.

Sano paused. "Asuka? The goze, right? Um…" He fingered the shaft of his spear as he thought. Though perfectly capable of wielding a sword (and very well, at that), his greatest strengths lay with the spear. It stood as fact that Sano preferred the speed and maneuverability of the spear, but unfortunately that preference had gotten him into a fix just as it'd gotten him out of many. A samurai once mocked him, stating he would be unable to commit _seppuku_ like a proper warrior, which Sano had immediately set out to prove him wrong. The ordeal left him with a horizontal scar on his navel that, when drunk, he loved to show off.

"Oh, I think she wanted to bathe so Hajime-kun went with her to make sure she'd get some privacy," he said. But when Okita's eyes lit up, the tenth unit captain gave him a wary look. "…You did hear me say _Hajime-kun's with her_, right?"

"Maybe," Okita snickered, already starting to jog off. "See you!"

There was little else Sano could do besides stand and heave a long-suffering sigh.

The Shinsengumi compound had a bathing area, composed of the outdoor lavatories, the well, and a storage building-like edifice housing a kiln — but since the men weren't exactly inclined towards hygiene (a bath was more or less a bucket of water dumped over themselves), it went largely ignored. Winter in particular had few visitors, and so the curl of smoke in the sky was like a beacon to Okita. The sight of Saitō standing guard outside the little building made his lips curve into a smirk.

Saitō, on the other hand, was not so enthusiastic to see him. "It's impolite to peer in while a woman is bathing," said the man before Okita could even say a word.

"I was not going to suggest such a thing!" Okita protested, acting hurt. "Besides, I probably wouldn't even be able to see anything. You know how it fills up with steam in there."

The captain of the third unit just looked at him.

"All right, all right," Okita snickered. A short silence fell over the scene. Saitō leaned against the frame of the building's door, arms folded across his chest. In manner he seemed idle, his expression appearing to be deep in thought, but it was deceptive. Okita knew firsthand that beneath that pensive expression, Saitō was extremely alert and ready.

"Wanna take a peek with me?"

"Absolutely not."

Okita chuckled and lifted his hands in defense, making a show of backing away. As he did, he went over his options in his head. It was true what he said earlier: the small building had a habit of filling up with steam from the hot water. There was a chance he wouldn't even be able to see anything good. But that was supposing he even managed to get past Saitō, which Okita knew he had next to no chance of doing. With Saitō there, he wouldn't be able to get within ten feet of the building.

So there was no choice but to wait for Asuka to finish bathing. He sighed and sat down on the deck outside his room; how boring.

Though at the very least it was a beautiful day. The sun was out on a rare winter expedition, and it offered a pleasant warmth to offset the more recent chill of rain. Okita yawned, stretched, and lay backwards on the deck, arms clasped behind his head. Looking up, the sky was a lovely cerulean between the wispy gray clouds. There remained moisture in the air, though; from the look of the low clouds on the horizon, it seemed there might be more rain later on, perhaps the next day. But for now, it was sunny and warm, and Okita's thoughts began to turn to more pressing matters than the weather.

His lazy expression changed to one of unusual pensiveness. It'd been a surprise when Hijikata had assigned the goze as his mistress, that was certain. And to be honest, he wasn't sure how he felt about it himself because he never had a mistress. Despite the fact he went to Shimabara as an almost-regular with Shinpachi and the other two, and how he would flirt with the geiko there, boredom was always present.

His eyes fell closed under the warm sunlight as he thought. None of the young women there ever held his interest for very long, and for a simple reason. He'd enjoy the flirting, and he'd enjoy making them squirm a bit with a certain comment or so, but eventually they became boring. Then Okita would return to what truly gave him passion: his swordsmanship, and perfecting it for the Shinsengumi's sake.

But he also had to admit, in terms of boredom, Asuka hadn't really gotten there yet. No matter if it was her, her mannerisms, or her personality, he just hadn't gotten tired of her yet. That in and of itself was interesting.

So when he heard the soft _tap-tapping_ of her cane and then felt it bump against his leg, he grinned. Then at the sound of the quiet voice saying his name, he opened one eye to look at her. Her hair was down, was what he first noticed. Next was that she had changed her kimono. Gone was the black, leaf-patterned kimono, replaced by a light purple one with a rather formal obi. The obi was silvery-blue and patterned with plum blossoms; Okita noted that her hairpin was tucked in the drum knot. She wore the red collar from her former outfit — along the edge was a small stain, and suddenly Okita remembered the cut he had given her on her neck. Said cut was only a thin red line now, and when Okita looked, a droplet of water from her wet hair trailed down over it. He blinked both eyes this time, looking her over approvingly.

"Hmm…sexy," he remarked, breaking the silence. She looked taken aback for an instant before recovering, her face smoothing over as she sat down beside him. Then he heard a very quiet, "Thank you," in response.

He laughed. No, he was definitely not bored yet. Asuka's manner of speaking was peculiar to him, as it was coming from a woman: she tended to pause before speaking, as if thinking through her answer first. He liked that — it was a difference from the geiko in Shimabara, who always spoke whatever they thought would please. Asuka's words were careful, thoughtful — and to Okita, very amusing.

Who thanked someone for calling them sexy?

There were other things, too, that set her apart but he couldn't put his finger on them. It was more of an essence than an exact quality. Asuka had a certain air about her that intrigued him. If the Shimabara girls were flowers, grown with the goal to please and satisfy until they ended up outright gaudy, then Asuka was something modest and inconspicuous, growing secretly in the corner but turning out eye-catching nonetheless.

He grinned. Now she had him thinking in _flower metaphors_.

Chuckling over this, Okita stared at her openly, appraising her profile. She sat very still, one hand on the staff leaning against her shoulder, head bowed and eyes closed. Only her chest moved with her breathing. Not far off from her, lingering rainwater fell from the eaves, dripping onto a cluster of uncut grass.

"Who's Katashi, then?"

She turned her head at the abrupt question. Okita stretched before sitting up, green eyes trained on her. He wore a devious smirk. "A sweetheart of yours? It might be a problem if you went looking for your boyfriend while we're supposed to be…haha, well, _you know._" He snickered and leaned in closer, smirk widening.

She didn't lean away from him, although the flicker in her sightless eyes showed him she was very aware of their proximity. "He's not…" she began slowly, then paused. "…He is someone I owe a debt to. That is all."

"Oh, I see," Okita hummed, tilting his head away as if bored. "You did mention you do _that_ kind of work as well, huh."

No reply. Okita looked at her askance to see that she had turned away, her expression unreadable. He arched one eyebrow. Oh? Had he touched a nerve? Just as he was about to grin and ask so, she suddenly spoke. "Saitō-dono said that you were looking for me. Is something the matter?"

"'_Saitō-dono_'?" he repeated and gave a derisive snort. "What is he, the freaking shōgun?! Haha, nah, Hijikata just said I need to show you around. Also, you've got kitchen duty with me and Sano later. But something else first—" He suddenly jumped up, Asuka turning to follow the sound of his footsteps as he headed into his room. When he returned, her shamisen was in his hand.

"Here." He placed the instrument in her lap as he sat down again, smiling. She ran her fingers over the neck of it before angling her face towards him. The question in her face was for permission rather than clarification. "Go ahead, I'm the one you're playing for. And one song's not going to kill anyone," Okita said and snickered at his own joke.

Her fingers touched the plectrum where it lay tucked against the shamisen body. "Do you have any song requests, Okita-dono?" asked Asuka.

"Nah. I'm not really a music expert," he said with a shrug. "And by the way, don't call me that. Just 'Okita-kun' or 'Okita-san' or whatever is fine. You _are_ my mistress after all. Special privileges," he added with a chortle, tweaking her chin.

Her eyes flickered, but she gave no further response. She repositioned the shamisen on her lap and took the tortoiseshell plectrum in hand, fingers curling around it in a way that showed how familiar the action was to her. Okita watched in open curiosity. Whether or not she was a spy, she certainly didn't start playing the shamisen yesterday.

And that became increasingly clear: the moment she began to play, he was riveted. The song started off with a flutter of notes, which shifted into a melody resembling that of the tune about cherry blossoms. However, this one was livelier, a carefree walk down a mountain path. Okita listened with his chin in his hand as she began to sing. Her singing voice was, of course, louder than when she spoke, but still melodious and clear.

"_Seven children playing_

_In this fine mountain air;_

_Father is cutting wood behind the house,_

_Mother cooks sweet rice with the cat watching closely._"

Saitō, swinging his sword in one of his daily practice sessions, paused to listen out in the courtyard. In a room nearby, Kondō smiled and closed his eyes, humming along to the familiar song. Hijikata glanced out his room window, setting down his calligraphy brush for a second.

"_A deer runs past_

_And with it comes evening._

_We all go inside for our supper;_

_Ah, such a picturesque scene of this mountain life._"

The others heard as well. Heisuke, Sano, Shinpachi, Yamazaki — some of them could only catch a faint sound, but they all heard and listened to the goze's song.

"_Now grown, I find myself remembering these things often_

_With as much joy as sorrowful longing._

_In this fine mountain air,_

_Seven children play._"

With two final strikes of the strings, the song ended. Asuka exhaled softly and angled her head towards Okita. The young man was silent, his eyes on her with a surprisingly sharp gaze. Finally, a soft chuckle escaped from him and he closed them, smiling a sweet smile.

"Why that one?"

There was no animosity in his voice, solely an inquisitive note. But when no response came and he opened his eyes, the edges of his forest-green irises were hard.

Asuka was — as he was coming to expect — quiet at first. Then at last, she said, "I thought it would suit you, that's all."

Okita didn't say anything and several heartbeats passed. Then he lifted his head from his hand and sidled over to her. Before she could react, the hairpin was slipped out of her obi so that the bell jingled, free, and he set it on the deck to sweep her hair into his hands. Asuka didn't so much as breathe as his fingers brushed against the sides of her neck. Noticing, he chuckled and caressed her jaw, but withdrew his hand the next moment to gather her hair into his fingers. With an adroit motion, he twisted part of her long hair into a bun (if a rather messy one) and picked up the pin to fasten it. When Okita let go, the rest of her hair slipped out of his fingers to flow down over her shoulder.

"You look better with your hair like that," was all he said, smirking widely. He stood up. "Come on, let's show you around then."

Asuka was motionless for another heartbeat, then stood as well.

The silver bell on her hairpin chimed softly. Okita noticed there was a tiny pattern etched on its surface. A pair of swallows flew across the metal, beautifully detailed despite the minuscule size, the swallows turned towards one another to symbolize devotion.

Okita thought again about the man Asuka was looking for, and wondered.


	3. Light Showers

_**Author's Note: Aaaaaaand welcome to the third chapter! To those who have followed and faved this story, thank you for your patience, and also thank you so much for faving and following. Many, many thanks to that special "guest 1" for being first to review! I hope this chapter is to your satisfaction as well! X3**_

_**I don't have much else to say other than that **— except maybe just a note that Shinpachi and co. are SO MUCH FUN TO WRITE. They are a delight to think up scenes for, and I had fun in this chapter in particular! (Even Saitō is fun to write, and he doesn't even say a single word. XDD) Hopefully, however, they're all in character. This is something I worry about a lot, since I've never written a Hakuōki fanfiction, so if you notice that anyone seems out of character, please tell me so! I want to keep it all sounding good for you. But with that said, I hope to see you all in the next chapter! X3****_

_****And kudos to anyone who recognizes who the two men are in that last scene.****_

_****...You'll probably figure it out pretty easily, though...haha...****_

* * *

**Day III — Light Showers**

* * *

"Oi, Okita-kun, this has way too much salt in it!"

"What? No way, I just tasted it and it was fine."

"Sure, if you like ocean-flavored vegetables." Sanosuke rolled his eyes and tossed more carrots into the pan. "Ah, but now we have too many greens. Shinpat-san is not going to be happy."

Okita snorted at that and tasted the bubbling pot of miso. "Ha, if you ask me, he needs a little more variety in his diet. We can't live on meat all the time!"

"You know his logic! 'Meat is manly,' and all that!" chortled Heisuke; he stood by the doorway, leaning against the wall and watching the three cook. The fact that he was merely watching irked the two older men, thus they were giving him a hard time about it and enjoying themselves.

"Mm-hm! Though in that case, you better eat up, Heisuke-kun," said Okita, wagging his wooden spoon like a mother scolding her child. "Or else you'll never grow up to be big and strong like Shinpat-san!"

Sano roared with laughter and even Asuka had to hide a smile. Her kimono sleeves were tied back so they wouldn't get in the way. She stirred the vegetables with a pair of chopsticks and spoke as she worked. "I can cut up some of these to use as fillings for _onigiri_. Would you like that?"

"Ohh, that sounds good!" Heisuke perked up, and as if on cue, his stomach gave a loud growl. The two men laughed uproariously and he shot them a dirty look, albeit while flushing. "By the way, Asuka-san, you're really good in the kitchen. You got to work right away! Have you done this before?" he asked, face curious.

Asuka angled her head towards his voice and smiled a little. "Not exactly. It's just that this is not so different from kitchen duty in the goze house I lived at. We would take turns cooking and helping each other to cook," she said as she fanned the vegetables with a paper _uchiwa_ fan.

"You're not bad at all," remarked Okita. He leaned over to pluck a green bean from the pan with his chopsticks cheerfully. "Thanks for the food! Ah, it's hot—!" Sano and Heisuke both snickered at the face Okita made, whereupon he glowered at them.

Sanosuke had already started cooking when Okita and Asuka arrived. Immediately the three of them set to work, with the two men pointing out where everything was in the kitchen for the goze. She had caught on surprisingly fast, and within minutes took up a wooden paddle and began preparing the rice herself. Only occasionally did she require help, and that was mostly to ask where something was. Heisuke watched her now move to the pot to ladle miso into bowls. He wore an expression of mixed wonder and admiration.

"Hey, Asuka-san, were you born blind?" he asked in sudden curiosity. Before she could even turn around, however, Sano spun and whacked the young man on the head, _hard_, cooking chopsticks gripped in his fist.

"_OW!_"

"Heisuke-kun! Have some decency!" Sano scolded harshly. He pointed his chopsticks at Heisuke as though he was about to run him through with them. "You don't just ask a blind person why they're blind! I'm very sorry, Asuka-san," he said to Asuka this time, a sincere expression on his face. "Despite how it looks, I swear we've taught him _some_ manners…!"

"Hey — I'm standing right here!"

"Oh… No, it's fine. Really." The goze gave them a small, reassuring smile (but she still reached out, feeling the air with her fingers until she found Sano's hands and took the chopsticks from his grasp). "I understand if you want to ask questions about me. And to answer… I was not born blind, Heisuke-kun. My sight was lost when I was a very little girl."

She wore a slight smile as she said this. It wasn't polite to pry into someone's past, especially as brusquely as Heisuke had, but she answered tranquilly. But it was rather strange how well she took it, how her feelings seemed unhurt in spite of their nosiness. Perhaps as a goze, she'd been subject to such questioning before…? Okita couldn't help but wonder, watching her from the corner of his eye while he continued to work.

"Oh…okay… Can I ask about your society?" Heisuke asked with a more tentative note this time. It did not escape Okita's notice that the goze hesitated, just slightly, before she nodded once. Heisuke seemed oblivious and asked eagerly, "What's it like? Is it seriously all women or are there some guys there, too? Do you travel a lot? But then how do you travel if you're all bli—"

"Heisuke-kun, that's a few too many questions," said Sano, amused.

"Eh…! Ah…sorry…" Heisuke had the decency to be embarrassed this time around. Okita chortled as he scooped out the rice.

"No, it is fine. I don't mind at all," Asuka said. A ghost of a smile traced her lips even though her head was down. "It's true that in the goze house there are only women. We do travel a lot, but we're most active during the winter, when people are inside and want entertainment. Goze are always women with problems with their sight, but they are not necessarily blind as I am. There were a few who traveled with us and were part of the goze house, but they had fairly good vision. They acted as our guides during our travels."

"Wow… That really is interesting. I never really knew much about the goze." Sano was obviously being sincere when he said this, his eyes bright. He turned the meat on the grill, the rich aroma filling the air as the meat sizzled and cooked. "So you just wander around and play in the cold for money? Geez, and I thought we samurai had it tough...!"

"Mm. Sometimes we were offered a place to stay for the night, in exchange for our music. Places like inns and villages welcomed us most often. We would play our best songs for them, I remember."

Okita glanced at Asuka's face while she recounted her memories. A soft expression had fallen over her features; her lips were upturned and her eyes gentle. It was an expression of fondness, and she smiled just a tiny smile. Thus he couldn't help but say, "How come you left it, then?"

Her back was to him, and so he had a clear view of her shoulders stiffening at his words. A grin spread across his face. So he _had_ hit a nerve. It was rather fun, pushing her to see just where her boundaries lay.

This, apparently, was one of them.

"I left it…" she said slowly. Her head was low and she seemed to be staring off into nothing. After a moment of total stillness, she put down the last bowl of miso and began to organize the food trays. "I left it because I met someone."

"Oh, really?" Heisuke put on a smile; even he could sense the slight tension in the air. "How come? Was it your boyfriend?"

"_Heisuke_," Sano chided, tapping him on the head with his spoon. "Quit asking so many things."

"I left because it seemed like it was time for me to leave," replied Asuka, however. She smiled, but it felt odd, out of place. The other three exchanged glances but didn't say anything more.

Asuka broke the tension then by turning towards Sano. "Ah, is the meat ready yet, Harada-san?"

"Eh? Oh, ah, yeah! Here!" He spread the slices of grilled meat onto rectangular plates on the trays. There were nine trays in all, and Sano, Okita, and Asuka took two each with Heisuke forced to balance three.

"Why the heck am I supposed to help you?!"

"Because you didn't lift a finger to help during the cooking. We have to work for our meals, and that includes you, Heisuke-kun! One way or another!" Sano laughed. His relief that the tension had apparently been forgotten was just concealed.

"That's right, Heisuke-kun. So the least you can do is some juggling to entertain the rest of us," added Okita. He snickered and glanced at Asuka. She appeared composed, perfectly at ease, but by now he knew better than to take it at a glance.

There was more beneath that calm and collected mask for sure.

"Oi! Dinner is served!" Heisuke called out at that moment. He slid open the door to the dining hall with his foot and went in, followed by the others with their trays. All the other captains as well as the commanders were seated around the tatami room in a U-shape. A whoop sounded as the wave of pleased chatter rose; Shinpachi punched the air with his fist and beamed.

"Finally! I'm about to pass out from starvation here!" He practically grabbed a tray out of Sano's hands and dove in. "Thanks for the food! Oh, and it's _meat!_" (Okita caught Sano's eye and grinned pointedly, a gesture that Sano had to mirror.)

"Haha, it looks very good! You did a good job with the cooking today," said Kondō with a hearty laugh.

"Heh, it's all because we have Asuka-san helping out now," Okita said with a smug note and handed Kondō a tray.

Asuka seemed surprised to be mentioned but Sano grinned, nodded, and draped his free arm around her shoulders in a loose hug. "Yeah, that's right! 'A woman's touch makes food taste better,' right?"

"_Oo shay the shame shing fo everyshing!_" shouted Shinpachi — unfortunately through a mouth stuffed with rice. Beside him, Saitō sighed heavily.

"Please choose between eating or speaking rather than combining them together."

Shinpachi rolled his eyes, swallowed fast, and repeated what he said in a much more coherent manner. Everyone laughed.

"That is true, Sanosuke-kun," Yamanami said with a wide smile. "According to you, food tastes better with a woman, a fine view, warm sake, good and plentiful company… Am I missing anything?"

"Nope!" chortled Shinpachi. "But all that just sounds like a night at Shimabara!"

"Yeah — one where _you're_ not there to steal the pretty ladies!" Sano shot back with a grin. That got a round of laughter from nearly everyone in the room.

Finally, after a full minute of this, Kondō waved his hands around for order. "All right, all right, everyone settle down." However, it was obvious he was struggling to keep a straight face himself. "Ah! By the way, Asuka-san…!" he said abruptly, and turned towards the goze with an inquisitive smile. "Would it be too much trouble to have you play your shamisen for us? Just a little?"

The reaction was instantaneous: Okita leaped up and was out the door with a cheerful "_I'll get it!_" even before Asuka had a chance to reply. (He almost upset his tray doing so.) Kondō blinked after him, startled by how quick he'd been. The others shrugged and continued to talk — to them, it was nothing more than typical Okita behavior — although with the mention of the shamisen, they did glance at Asuka curiously. Having overheard her song earlier, most of them were eager to hear her play again.

So when Okita reappeared with her shamisen in hand and a jaunty grin on his face, everyone looked over. And when he went to hand the goze her instrument, Shinpachi suddenly jumped up.

"Hey, do you know 'Ballad in the Rice Fields'?" he asked Asuka. His eyes were bright and, surprisingly, not a bit mischievous.

"Ah… Yes."

"All right! Play that for me!" The corner of Asuka's lips quirked in bemusement, and right away her plectrum started to pluck at the strings, strumming out a very upbeat tempo. Shinpachi hummed and stomped his feet in time to the song, and then with a bright grin, he began to sing.

Very, very badly.

"Oh heaven help us — _my ears!_" Sano clutched his head and collapsed sideways with a death moan. Heisuke and Okita likewise fell but backwards rather than sideways; they were also clutching their stomachs as they howled, simply howled with laughter. Hijikata's face looked as pained as though he had swallowed a needle, while Kondō and Yamanami were clearly straining not to laugh.

The only person still eating quietly was Saitō.

The rowdiness only got worse: Shinpachi attempted to hit a high note when the music hit a crescendo, with the result that Sano, Heisuke, and Okita ended up gasping for air in their mirth. At last, the two commanders broke down and joined in the laughter. Hijikata turned his eyes skyward and pinched the bridge of his nose. Saitō sipped his miso.

Asuka chuckled faintly and continued to play.

_"Hey. Will you play something for me?"_

Ah — so her suspicions had been right. There _was_ something familiar about this…

_"…What do you want me to play?"_

_"Hmm, anything. Haha… So long as I get to listen to the sound of your shamisen, I am happy with anything."_

_"Mm. All right then."_

Bawling out a series of horrific-sounding high notes, Shinpachi hauled Sano and Heisuke up, trying to get them to sing along with him. Okita and the commanders were near hysterics, and Hijikata pointedly tried to ignore them all (but the smile twitching at his lips indicated he was failing). Saitō got up with his empty bowl in hand, heading out to the kitchen to get more miso.

The room was lively and the atmosphere warm, and the music of her shamisen never faltered. Yet she listened to the sounds of their merriment, and felt only the weight of her own loneliness.

_So this…_

_This is what I can never have…_

* * *

"Ahhh, that was a great dinner!" Okita stretched his arms above his head, yawning and letting his back pop gratifyingly. He fell back on the futon with a sign, then rolled onto his stomach to look at her. "Hmm, you're really something at the shamisen, though. I guess you are a goze after all," he mused out loud, watching her face closely.

She just smiled in response. Asuka knelt by the flickering lamp, brushing her long hair with a wooden comb she'd taken from her pack. She had changed into a plain, cotton sleeping robe. Her hairpin with its bell rested on the tatami by her knee, and her hair fell over her shoulders like oil on water. Okita closed his fist slowly; all of a sudden he was remembering the silken feel of it against his fingers, from when he had held it that morning.

He smirked.

"I love you."

She froze. The expression on her features was unreadable.

Okita cocked his head, frowning thoughtfully, then clicked his tongue and sighed. "Hnn, like I figured. It doesn't feel right at all," he said. He let out another sigh and rolled onto his back, clasping his hands behind his neck. "Maybe this will be harder than I thought…"

Surreptitiously, he watched as her hands relaxed and she gave a great sigh. Her eyebrows were knitted in frustration, he noticed. Okita hid a grin behind his arm. She was so amusing.

"...Aw, come on now. It's boring if I'm the only one talking," he said and assumed a small pout.

Asuka lifted her head, surprise lining her face before it faded and she tilted her head minutely. "I don't have very much to say…"

"Ah, don't be like that!" He rolled over and propped himself up on his elbows, inching over to her. "Tell me something about yourself. Come ooooooooon."

_"Will you tell me something about yourself…?"_

At first, Asuka was silent, her hands motionless on her hair. Then she slowly put the comb down in her lap and turned towards him. Her clouded eyes held a look of wariness. "What do you want to know…?"

Okita grinned and put his chin in his hand, thinking. "Mm… Let's start off simple...! Where were you born?" he asked, and tossed her a smile even though she couldn't see it.

"I was born in a village east of Edo, where the leaves fell every autumn and which the winters took with frost and snow." She described her home in a succinct manner that Okita found quite charming. It made him laugh anyway. Still, he had little doubt that was how it truly seemed to her.

"How about your parents? What were they like?" He spoke with a bored voice, but really there was an ulterior motive to these questions. Beneath his apparent boredom, Okita listened closely to each answer. The reason why was simple.

Hijikata had ordered him to get as much background information on the goze as possible. After all, she had only been with them for a few days. There was absolutely no reason to believe she was not a spy yet. And they all knew it.

"My parents? They were good people, though poor as well. But we lived fair enough. My father was a farmer, and he would bring home food for us to eat."

"Oh, really...? Do you have any siblings?"

"Yes… I had a brother and a sister. Both of them were older than me."

This piqued his interest straightaway. "Really? Two older siblings? Me too, but they are both girls," he added with a shudder. That got a small smile from her, to which he grinned in response. "So do you still keep in touch with your family? Because _this_ might be a problem, you know, if they come by to demand—"

"That won't be an issue," she broke in. Her smile had faded and her voice suddenly went flat; she turned her face away from him at once. He waited, but she didn't elaborate, so he prompted her with a quizzical:

"Why not?" A thought popped into his mind. "...Did you have a falling out or something?"

She stiffened. Okita noted how she didn't reply right away. A few seconds skipped by, and then she looked back towards him, or at least toward the direction of his voice. "My mother and father died from illness when I was little, not long after I lost my eyes. Then my sister died from the same sickness before her fourteenth birthday had come to pass. I have not heard from my brother in many years — and if he were to walk by me in the streets, and recognize me, I do not think he would want that to change."

A bitter expression fell across her face as she told him this, like a shadow. Okita remained quiet, gazing at her until the emotion drained from her clouded eyes and her shoulders slumped. Now her expression was just weary. He averted his eyes from it, staring at the oil lamp instead.

Even so, he also noticed she didn't answer his second question.

But that could wait.

"I'm sorry."

"No… No. Please don't be." Her brow furrowed at his apology and she shook her head. "Please, don't pity me, Okita-san. I was treated very well in the goze house… I learned things I never thought I would learn. They were good to me, they were kind... For that, I will always be grateful. So please...don't feel sorry for me."

"Hm…" Okita appeared absorbed in his thoughts and continued to stare at her pensively. After a minute of such silence, she lifted her hand and resumed combing her hair. Her expression had smoothed over again. Though it didn't last too long, for she blinked in surprise when Okita crept up and laid his head in her lap. Her hands stopped.

"Okita-san? What are you…"

"What? Heheh, I'm just relaxing. You're surprisingly comfortable, Asu-chan," was his simple explanation. He turned over so that he was face-up and smirked at her startled look. Hesitant, her hands hovered above him before they settled on his forehead. He had to grin as she ran uncertain, sensitive fingertips over his hairline, brushing red-brown strands of hair aside, stroking the skin of his crown.

"Mmm… That feels nice," he remarked softly, smirking, and narrowed his eyes at the pleasant sensation of her hand brushing back his hair.

Asuka's lips quirked and a soft chuckle emanated from her chest. Just like when she had played the shamisen for them, her fingers didn't pause. "I suddenly feel like a mother," she commented wryly. It was so unexpected that Okita stared up at her for a second, stunned, then he burst out laughing.

"Hahaha! You really are interesting!" he sniggered, and reached up to catch her hand in his. Their fingers intertwined, and Asuka drew a sharp breath when she felt him squeeze her hand lightly. He smirked and said, "Don't think you can run away by lulling me to sleep, 'kay? There are guards out there, too. We'd catch you."

He let out a childlike giggle, pressing her palm to his forehead lightly. She sighed, eyebrows knitting together in frustration. A certain satisfaction filled his chest and he grinned widely at her vexed expression.

"That wasn't my intention."

"Oh, no?" He arched an eyebrow but chuckled, releasing her hand. "Then by all means, continue."

He felt the gust of her breath against his face when she sighed, but soon the gentle warmth of her hand was smoothing over his hair again. He watched her face, noting how her eyes sometimes opened partially, blurry eyes gazing out without seeing. Her eyelids seemed bruised, and reminded him of how flower petals would become discolored when crushed. Ah — he chuckled; she was making him think in such romantic ways again. Really, how fascinating she was turning out to be…

Asuka could feel his gaze on her, even locked in darkness as she was. All of this felt disconcerting, so familiar but the circumstances twisted that familiarity into something vaguely disturbing. His head in her lap, hands touching his face, fingers combing through his hair almost tenderly… It was wrong.

Briefly, her thoughts flickered to the one person she had done this for, long ago, but she pushed those thoughts aside.

There were other things to be worried about now.

For one, there was her backstory.

Even as she bent down over Okita and felt his breath tickle her chin, felt it even out as sleep took him under, she had to wonder if he would figure out she'd been lying.

* * *

"What do you think?"

"...Of what?"

"Of her."

He raised the sake cup to his lips, sipping the warm alcohol. The man was perched on the window seat, gazing down at the rooftops of Kyoto, deep in thought. Everything was awash in the faint light of dawn. A thin mist drizzled onto the buildings, gathering at the eaves to dribble over to the streets below. This rain was very light, but with winter at the threshold, it bore little difference from being sprinkled with ice water. A puff of white fog wafted around his face every time he breathed.

"You mean the child."

The seated man's smirk was the only response he got — it was all he needed. The other man knelt in the center of the tatami room. A small beard graced his chin and lent a certain dignity to his serious countenance. His voice, also, was low with an ever-present note of solemnity to it. Added to his broad shoulders and height, the man created a rather intimidating picture altogether. He continued,

"She has more to her than it may appear. Perhaps there is a chance she will end up succeeding."

"Oh…? Such compliments from you are rare, indeed," said the first man in an amused tone. Despite the much younger appearance he had compared to his companion, his voice was an octave deeper. Though that was not to say it wasn't apt; it suited the imperious manner with which he held himself.

"They say that the blind can see that which is unseen. Things that cannot be known to those with sight," replied the other, unperturbed. "Should that ring true, it may be unwise to underestimate her."

"Don't put words in my mouth. I didn't say that," the younger man said, though with a chuckle. The sake in this inn was good: fine wine could hardly be drunk cold, but the liquor's smooth flavor would send warmth pooling from his stomach regardless of temperature. He tossed back another drink, then set down the cup with a _tick_.

"So what do _you_ think of the child, if I may ask?"

"Hmph. She is certainly more fascinating than I might have first thought, at the very least." The first man's answer was nonchalant, and he got up from his seat. "In fact, I daresay I'd prefer her company over these tiresome men. I would have her play her shamisen so that we would no longer hear their plans for petty betrayal and scheming. But then, I can't help but think… Before she slips from the reach of my blade, I've half a mind to try taking her head, simply to see what happens…"

"None of that."

"Hm. I'm joking." The man gave a low laugh and bent to pick up his sword. The hilt of the blade was decorated sparsely, choosing a balance between ornate and practical, and he ran a fond thumb across the guard.

He smiled, and in the dimness of the dawn, his narrowed eyes looked as though they were glowing.

"I do wonder how things will turn out…"


	4. Respite

_**Author's Note: Thus we reach Chapter Four! This chapter is a tad unusual in that you guys get some important peeks into Asuka's backstory as well as her point of view. For many reasons, however, this chapter was extremely difficult for me to write, and I actually did nearly complete it when I went back and deleted half of it because I was unhappy with how it was turning out. But now I am satisfied with how it's turned out, and with hope the next chapter will have everything I want to include! X3  
**_

**_(See, there's a certain historical aspect regarding Yamazaki's real ninja job that I want to include... U v U Heheheheheh.)_**

**_Comments and feedback are always, always appreciated! Actually, I'd love to get some more comments about this story's pacing, by the way, since I'm a little uncertain about how it is. Please tell me what you think. But without further ado, enjoy the chapter!_**

* * *

**Day IV — Respite**

* * *

_The dark is frightening._

_That was what she thought, even before she was thrown forward into it._

_The bedlam of shouting voices, harsh hands knocking her aside, was overwhelming. Despite the intense sunlight beating down on her frail body, no matter where she looked, she saw only darkness; despite how she cried out for her family, no one answered. All the bodies pressing in around her were suffocating her, stifling, choking. She pushed past sturdy legs and groped the air in front of her, unseeing and panicked. Where was she? Where was her family? Where?_

_"Mama!" she wailed, tears pouring down her face. "Papa…!"_

_No one answered._

_Those around her, too, were silent, save for the occasional murmur of pity or scorn. Their gazes bore into her, accusing, and in fright she staggered forward, wailing plaintively. No one answered._

_The road was dusty; she could feel the heat of it through her tattered sandals. Her foot caught on a rut in the path and she stumbled, falling to her knees. Her elbows scuffed against the ground and she let out a pained cry. Someone — a man, judging by the sound of his voice — jumped back and cursed at her, his words irate. She didn't hear him. The child was beyond her surroundings now. She curled up on the dirt road and wept, hiccuping with mangled sobs._

_People continued to rush around her, parting like water around a stone. No one paid her any attention. To them, she was less than the dirt they walked on._

_Never in her life had she felt so alone._

_"Mommy…!"_

Asuka woke up then, warm tears spilling down her cheeks.

* * *

"Mm…"

Okita noticed something was off even before he was fully awake: a change in the air, perhaps, something lacking in the warmth he was becoming accustomed to. And he was not wrong. When he blearily opened his eyes, he saw right away that Asuka had disappeared.

A noise that was something between a groan and a scoff issued from his throat, and he rolled onto his side. The sheets of his futon tangled his legs and he huffed and kicked himself free. Upon stretching, his back popped loudly and he flopped back onto the futon, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

Well, here was to another day.

Okita yawned and ran his fingers through his messy hair. He looked over at the empty futon beside his, frowning slightly. This was disappointing: usually Okita was the one to wake up first, and in his book, getting to stare freely at Asuka's guileless sleeping face was a definite plus. The mask of composure that was her usual expression eased — just the day before, as he leaned on his elbows and studied her, she had suddenly crinkled her nose in what he'd thought was the most adorable manner. Maybe she dreamt of an embarrassing memory, or a bad smell?

Either way, Okita had teased her about it throughout the entire day.

Her exasperation had put him in such a good mood, he was caught humming happily several times.

But he'd been robbed of that pleasure now. Okita heaved a sigh and threw the covers aside to get up. "Oi, Hajime-kun!" he called out, suppressing another yawn as he went over to the door. Weak sunlight streamed into the room when he rolled it open. The fragrance of yesterday's light rain saturated the morning air. However, the sun was out so it seemed the current string of rainy days was finally going to stop, at least for a while.

Okita hoped so, anyway. He was getting fairly tired of all the rain. _It's a miracle that Kyoto isn't six feet underwater by now_, he thought sardonically as he headed out to the well in the courtyard. Saitō was also nowhere to be seen, which he took to be a good sign. If Hajime was with Asuka, that meant she hadn't snuck off to somewhere she wasn't supposed to be.

He stretched his arms over his head, groaning. He had to admit, he would be a little disappointed if they had to punish her so soon.

"_The leaves drip with beads of water_

_Like tears of pained melancholy..._"

His eyebrows lifted and a smile crossed his lips when he heard her now-familiar voice. It was coming from the courtyard, much to his delight, along with a steady splash of water and an odd _swish_ing sound. When the first unit captain stepped around a corner, an interesting sight greeted him. For a brief instant, a memory flitted through his mind, overlapping the scene before him: his older sister Mitsu in the yard, her sleeves tied back as she hung up the laundry.

"_She said they would meet once again,_

_And so her beloved continues to look for her_

_As he cries under the cruel rain._"

Asuka knelt by the well, apparently having drawn water to fill a wooden basin which she was using to wash a bundle of clothes. Her kimono sleeves were tied back once more, and while she worked she sang quietly in that resonating voice of hers. But the sorrowful words contrasted with the snow-white clarity of her singing voice.

"_Alas, what a tragic tale this is!_

_In this world, are there truly such things as 'happy endings?'_"

Saitō was there as well, swinging his sword with adroit, practiced motions (this turned out to be the source of the swishing noise). Okita pursed his lips, then relaxed and abruptly put on a grin.

"Hajime-kun, you're ruining the moment," he commented, stepping out from the shade to walk over to the well. The bucket was on the stone wall; he tossed it in and after a moment, started to pull on the rope pulley, drawing it back up. It emerged full and he pulled it over to splash his face, washing away the grease of sleep. He huffed — the well water was freezing!

_Swish_. The sword cut cleanly through the damp air, sharp metal surface gleaming silver. "How do you mean?" was the impassive response. Saitō didn't even look at him as he raised his arms for another swing. Okita smirked.

"Ahh, well… She kind of looks like she's really my wife instead of mistress, don't you think? I mean, see for yourself!" He tilted his head toward Asuka as he came over to sit on the deck. Saitō didn't say anything more, but Okita did notice that his gaze flicked to the young woman, who continued to scrub a black kimono with a vague smile on her face. She _did_ make a very domestic image, with her head bent over her work so.

Saitō gave his sword a swing, and nodded once. A smug smile appeared on Okita's face. "Hm, maybe that's not such a bad idea, though. What do you say, Asuka-chan? Wanna get married? I'll take good care of you, I promise!" he called to her, eyes twinkling. He heard Saitō sigh, an almost inaudible sound.

"I should think that Mōri-san would be better off as your mistress, Okita-kun," remarked the third unit captain; besides Hijikata, he was the only one to address the goze that way. His tone was slightly dry.

Okita assumed a heartbroken expression and his hands flew up to clutch his heart theatrically. "Hajime-kun! I'd expect this from Shinpat-san, but from you?!" The other man just sighed again and swung his sword. Okita had to laugh, and then looked back at Asuka with a wide smirk.

"Soooo? Do you wanna be my wife, Asuka-chan? You'd get three meals a day, a roof over your head, a remarkably good-looking husband… Oh, and maybe I should mention the _incredible lovemaking_…?" This last bit was punctuated by a lift of his eyebrows and a devilish laugh.

"Okita-kun."

"Haha, all right, all right, Hajime-kun. I'm just kidding! Though that's not to say I was _exaggerating_…" snickered the first unit captain. And to his great satisfaction, he saw that the corners of Asuka's lips were quirked oh-so-slightly. As if she felt his pleased gaze, the goze ducked her head once more, lifting the kimono out of the soapy water. Okita cocked his head, eyebrow raised.

"Hmm… But Asuka-chan, _do_ you have a husband? Wouldn't want to be fighting for your hand now." His tone was light, but the way he looked at her was sharp. Likewise, Saitō glanced at her in a furtive manner. He knew the reason behind Okita's casual question.

However, Asuka's face gave nothing away. With a reserved smile, she shook her head and rinsed out the kimono. Okita noticed that it was the one patterned with leaves, the one that had been bloodied. She said, "Ah, I don't. I have never been married."

"Oh, ho, really…" The young man smiled, his eyes narrowing. "Good to hear, though! That means you're a free woman, hm?"

Saitō turned to give him a look. "Refrain from making such wanton comments."

"Ehh, Hajime-kun, you're no fun…!"

A soft chuckle emanated from Asuka's direction.

A comfortable quiet encompassed them, filled with the splashing of laundry and the whistle of Saitō's blade, and then it was soon joined by Asuka's singing voice. Okita watched with an odd mix of fondness and amusement. Geez, she really did make it look like he had a wife, watching her do chores. Asuka looked so fitting there in the compound, so _right_.

No one would have ever thought she was a prisoner, he was certain of that.

"Hmm, you're always singing," he remarked with a nonchalant shrug. Not that he thought it a bad thing.

She tilted her head towards him. The goze had finished rinsing out her kimono and had spread it out over a line. Beside the well were two poles with nails half-driven into their sides, heads pounded up to act as hooks. A cord was strung between them to use for drying laundry, just as Asuka was doing.

"You're always wearing your sword," was her smooth reply.

Okita blinked once, twice, then burst out laughing. "Hahaha! Did you hear that, Saitō-kun?! Haha, she's a quick one, isn't she?! Asuka-chan is just great!" He fell onto his side, shaking with glee. Through tears of mirth he saw Saitō roll his eyes, which only made him laugh harder.

"Haha, well, this is a fine sight." Yamanami's bemused voice came from the corridor; he stepped forward and looked down at Okita, eyebrows lifted. A smile twitched at his lips. "You know that if you try and continue to breathe, you won't be as liable to pass out, don't you?"

"_Sochō_-san." Saitō sheathed his sword and bowed to the general commander. That was as far as his greeting went, but Yamanami gave him a warm smile nonetheless.

"Good morning, Hajime-kun, Sōji-kun. Asuka-san," he then added with a nod. She had turned at the sound of his voice and inclined her head at his greeting. He smiled and continued, "Ha, but it truly is fine weather for laughter. The sun certainly earns its praises…! Alhough perhaps it's also a good time for grocery shopping." He scratched his head and continued, chuckling, "You see, Nagakura-kun had shopping duty this morning but it turns out he has a bit of stomach pain. It seems that he overate last night." This last sentence was followed by a poorly suppressed smile.

Okita (who by now had somewhat calmed down) snorted. "Figures," he grinned, wiping at his eyes. "Leave it to Shinpat-san to accomplish something like that!"

"Heh, indeed! Ah, don't tell him I said that," Yamanami said with a chuckle. He looked at Okita. "But Okita-kun, I was wondering if you wouldn't mind my borrowing Asuka-san for the morning."

Okita's eyebrows shot up into his hairline. "Eh?"

"Mm, well…" Embarrassment flickered across Yamanami's face and he rubbed the back of his neck, sheepish. "I volunteered to go in Nagakura-kun's stead, since Yamazaki-san is..._on duty_ along the way to the market, and I have a few things to discuss with him. But I don't often go out like this so… Er, see, I figured...I might need some help…"

It was all Okita could do to bite back another laugh at the chagrined expression Yamanami wore.

"Weeeeell… It's not really my choice, you know," he said with a low tone and a confidential smile. Yamanami's eyes flickered, understanding. "Hijikata-san would have to give the okay — but I'm fine with it! That is, so long as you don't try hooking up with her while I'm not looking."

"Oh, no worries about that," laughed Yamanami.

"What do I have to give the okay for?" said Hijikata's voice out of nowhere. He gave them all a suspicious look as he walked up from behind Yamanami, who turned to greet him.

"Oh, just for San'nan-san to borrow Asuka so he can look good and totally not single while shopping," Okita explained with a grin. Yamanami rolled his eyes at the young man, although he wore a smile as he did.

"What? What do you mean by that?" Hijikata said, sighing at Okita's antics. The young man just chortled, and the vice-commander huffed, turning to Yamanami instead. "San'nan-san, you know she is not to leave this compound until we are absolutely certain she can be trusted. It has only been a few days since she arrived, anyway." His tone was sharp, and he purposely said this loud enough for Asuka to hear. Her face while he spoke was blank.

"I would just like to have Asuka-san's help in getting groceries, Fukuchō-san," Yamanami tried to explain. "Since, ah, the last time we went out for groceries, the meals didn't exactly...turn out well."

The men lapsed into silence at that, remembering: Sanosuke and Heisuke had been on shopping duty together, and just as Yamanami said, they didn't exactly make the best shopping choices. Which was to say that they accidentally bought spoiled fish and vegetables. Everyone, even the two at fault, had had the same unanimous opinion — dinner that night had been utterly horrific.

Thus Hijikata heaved a great sigh, casting Asuka a low glower. "Hmph. If you must. Just this once — _this once_ — she will be allowed outside the compound. Okita-kun, Saitō-kun." At his curt address, the first and third unit captains straightened, their gazes attentive and fixed on Hijikata. "You're to accompany San'nan-san and Mōri-san. Do not stray from her side, not once."

Saitō bowed without a word, and Okita just smirked; Hijikata turned to Asuka then.

"And you—" The eyes of the vice-commander were frightening indeed. "It is simple. You run, you die. All three of you, if she so much as puts a foot out of place, you have my permission to cut her down. Understood?"

"Yes, Fukuchō-san."

"Hm. Good." The vice-commander gave the curtest nod and then continued on his way. For a long minute, they watched his rigid back depart from sight.

Once Hijikata had left for sure, Okita let out a long whistle. "Well, _sheesh_. Someone's not a morning person!"

* * *

_"One day I'll take everyone out to the capital, and we'll have the time of our lives! Tell you what, I'll even rent out a room at one of those fancy inns and we can finally go shopping for those new sandals Mama's been wanting, yeah?"_

_Laughter rang out through the tiny room. The woman kneeling before the hearth grinned exasperatedly as her husband shook with mirth. The kimono hanging from the man's shoulders was tattered and worn, suggesting that no such dream could ever be accomplished. Yet the expression he wore was so optimistic that the children felt themselves sharing his excitement._

_"When we go, Papa, can we buy some of the city sweets?" her brother asked shyly. He had a serious sweet tooth, her big brother, one that could rarely be satiated. Papa gave his booming laugh and mussed the boy's hair, making his son squirm and pout._

_"Believe me, Shin'ichi, I'll buy us all so many sweets, we'll be sick for a month afterward!" This got the boy laughing along with his father, especially when the man grabbed him beneath the underarms and began to tickle him._

_"Papa! Papa!" called her sister, tugging at his sleeves for his attention. "I wanna new hairpin, Papa! Pleeeease, can I have one?" Her eyes were bright and pleading. Ever since she'd seen an Edo woman pass by the village with a cluster of paper flowers in her hair, she had been longing for one desperately. Papa looked down at her and smiled cheerily, pulling her into his lap as well._

_"Hahaha! Why not? With a pretty hairpin, you'll be the talk of the village in no time, my pretty little girl!" The girl squealed in delight, throwing her arms around her father's neck. He chortled and then turned to her at last, grinning._

_"How about you, little one? What do you want your Papa to buy for you from the big city?"_

_"Oh…" She looked up from the coals she was stirring, the metal of the poker hot against her palm. "Um…" It was embarrassing, the simple thing she wanted. She bit her lip and looked down, fussing with the fire. Like her sister had desired a hairpin since seeing that Edo woman, she had wanted this since she saw a group of children playing with it. It was a practical thing, not at all expensive, but something she could enjoy as well. She was easily pleased and so she could be entertained by it for a long time._

_"I just want a pinwheel, Papa. A red one…"_

_"Eh? A pinwheel?" Her father's face was surprised by the extremely simple request. She blushed and ducked her head. Of course he'd be surprised. It was like she was calling them out to be cheap, pointing out how they really had no money to go traveling! She was mumbling something when suddenly she felt his hand on her hand, and when she looked up, her papa's warm expression was gazing down at her._

_"Heheh, of course! I'll get ya the biggest, reddest, spinniest pinwheel they got in Kyoto!"_

_A beat. Then a wide smile spread across her face and she hugged his broad chest. The sound of laughter, of his laughter, of her siblings', her mother's, encased her in warmth and love and comfort._

_Home. The memory of home._

"Spacing out on me again, are you?" came an amused voice.

Asuka jumped, pulled out of her reverie and back to reality. The darkness, ever-pressing down around her, blacking out her world. Her hand gripping someone's arm, tough muscle and sinew under her palm — a sure sign that this man was stronger than he made himself seem. Voices around her: the babble of market-goers, mingled with frequent shouts of traders and bargains. But she was focused on the three directly beside her, one jovial, one gentle, and one so quiet he nearly faded into the dark of her world.

"Asuka-san? Are you all right?"

That was the gentle voice, on her right — Yamanami. He was a good-natured man who had benignly taken her hands to guide her out of the compound. Broad palms extended into callused fingers, which curled with a poet's elegance. He was well-educated, Asuka could tell, almost a scholar but then a swordsman, too. And no mere swordsman but the general commander of one of the largest shogunate groups at that.

Yamanami was a good man. But it was easy to tell something lurked beneath that mild demeanor.

After all, he wasn't one of the Shinsengumi's highest-ranking officers for no reason.

"I am fine, Yamanami-san." Her fingers tightened on Okita's arm and she bowed her head in Yamanami's direction. "It's...just been a while since I've had to make do without my cane."

He made a sympathetic noise that, at the very least, sounded sincere. "I see… I truly am sorry, goze-san, but please understand. It's just a precaution we have to take."

Asuka nodded. She _did_ understand, really. Without her cane, she could walk on her own only with great difficulty, thus forcing her to depend on these men as her eyes. That was part of the reason why they were flanking her this way, one on each side and one behind her. At the same time they were guiding Asuka, steering her clear of potholes in the road, they were also watching her closely.

Without her cane, she could neither run from them nor slip from their grasp.

She understood that. It didn't mean she had to like it.

"Hahaha! Keep trying, San'nan-san! She's about as good as Hajime-kun at making conversation," Okita was snickering, and from some paces behind them came a noncommittal grunt. Yamanami laughed.

"Come now, Okita-kun, don't tease her. Besides, it's not as if that's a bad thing. Ah — here we are! Last buy for the day…!"

She felt Yamanami stop beside her and paused as well. There was an earthy smell she could just detect; Asuka tugged on Okita's sleeve and whispered, "Are we at the vegetable stand…?"

"Ho, nice," he said, sounding genuinely impressed. "You can tell? Yeah, just a couple daikon radishes and then we can go home! Although Hajime-kun and Shinpat-san have cooking duty tonight… Oi, Hajime-kun, you better keep an eye on Shinpat-san! If I eat any more of his crap for long, I'm going to die way before my time!"

"Hm."

"Goze-san, what do you think?" Yamanami asked her then. Her hands were taken and two radishes pressed gently into each palm. Asuka's brow knitted as she ran her fingers over the tubers. They felt sturdy enough, no bruises, and both were about the same size. But—

"This one." She held out the radish in her left hand. "It has a crisper smell to it, and it doesn't feel as yielding as the other. This one is fresher, I believe."

"Really?" Yamanami's tone was admiring as he took the vegetable from her. "Haha, thank you, goze-san. You've been a true help! I was thinking of getting the other since the color seemed better, but if you are certain…"

They got two more daikon radishes; Asuka kept silent while Yamanami paid for the food, and then they moved on. Okita and Yamanami kept up a steady stream of conversation, Saitō quiet like always. She half-listened to the idle things the two men spoke about, letting her mind meander.

They were kind. Or kinder than she'd expected them to be, really. Kondō — their leader and commander — had startled her with how gracious he had been. He had been the first to speak to her, and it had been to introduce himself and those around him. How strange, for someone so notorious to turn out so gentle. But Hijikata… _He_ was just as severe as she'd heard. The "demon vice-commander" was perhaps a very apt name, after all.

And then there was him.

Okita Sōji.

Rumor called him one of the most powerful men in the Shinsengumi; so did _they_, in fact. So it was both a good and bad thing that she was under his guard. Out of all the officers, he was among the hardest to read, this caretaker of hers. When she was little, her family had had a cat. A sleek, clever creature it was, proud and calm and doing what it pleased. Okita reminded her of that cat. There was a certain laziness to him, like he strolled about in a state of sunny indifference.

It stayed even while he was killing.

She had sensed that, even on that night.

Darkness. Rain pouring. Singing, slicing steel. Flesh torn. The copper stench of blood.

Amusement in a man's voice: a cat playing with a mouse. A blade unsheathed. Pain, cold and pricking.

Had there been fear, too…?

"Asu-chan!"

She started and her grip on his sleeve clenched. "Ah—" Oh. They'd stopped. Asuka swallowed and loosened her hold on Okita's arm. "I'm sorry. I was just...thinking."

A beat, then Yamanami spoke. His tone and words were light but she could feel his eyes on her. "I'm going to take a detour here. Yamazaki is waiting for me and I'd hate to hold him from his job for too long. I'll see you three back at the compound, all right?"

"Yep, gotcha! Have fun, San'nan-san!" Okita said, and Asuka felt him raise his free arm to give a jaunty wave. Saitō gave a more subdued farewell, and with a rustle of fabric that Asuka presumed was a nod or bow, Yamanami's footsteps took a right and soon faded away.

"Ah!"

Out of nowhere, Okita jumped, his tone shocked. He whirled to face Saitō, Asuka holding onto his arm still. "Hey, Hajime-kun, you and Asu-chan go on ahead, all right? I got something I need to buy!"

"What?" Saitō's voice was blank — as close to incredulity as Asuka had ever heard it. Okita just snickered and took Asuka's wrist, dragging her forward so she was clinging to Saitō's sleeve instead.

"Okay, I'll see you both later! Don't wait up for me!" he called happily, scurrying back the way they came, towards the market. There was a long minute of silence between Asuka and Saitō; then the man heaved a sigh and turned to her.

"Come with me, and stay by my side. I will not hesitate to cut you down if you flee. Nor will I fail."

"...I understand." She nodded, to which he gave no reply. He only began walking and Asuka followed along, fingers tight around his sleeve. The rest of the way back was silent.

Asuka felt her thoughts flicker back to Okita, once, before she shoved him from her mind and closed her eyes.

* * *

"Asuka-chan!"

Really, he was the only one to call her that, to say nothing of the way he stretched out her name in a single breath so it became "_Aaaaaaasukaaaaaa-chaaaaaaaan!_". The others were much more formal, using her surname or a far less familiar honorific, or they simply addressed her by her title: _goze-san_. But no, Okita used her name freely and with...what? Affection? Fondness?

There was a wryness to the thought. She turned towards the sound of his voice. The evening air was cool, and so she was seated on the veranda outside his room, shamisen in her lap being tuned.

"Okita-san…?"

"Guess what I got you!" He sounded breathless, as if he'd run all the way back, and something was thrust into her arms with a crinkle. Asuka's eyebrows furrowed and she carefully set her shamisen aside, placing her hands on the object.

It was soft, and wrapped in dainty tissue paper that rumpled under her touch. The paper was folded neatly over fabric, she realized, and when her fingertips ran over a triangle collar she inhaled sharply.

"Is this...a kimono…?"

"You got it!" There was a note of triumph in Okita's tone — it made Asuka's stomach sink. "I noticed that you only had that black one and the one you're wearing now, plus that cotton robe you wore last night. Soooo I figured my mistress ought to have a bigger wardrobe, you know? Ah, but damn, the lady at that store is such a swindler. It took me almost two hours just to get her to ease up on the price! I was this close to just jumping her and running off with the thing." He chuckled. Asuka swallowed.

"It's… This is very kind of you…" The fabric was cotton, so it definitely wasn't a very expensive kimono. Anyway, she could hardly expect him to buy her silk robes; a samurai could only be paid so much.

And besides, she hadn't expected him to buy her _anything_ at all.

Which meant that this—

"I am truly grateful for your kindness," she murmured, head bowed. Her bangs fell before her face, and she suppressed a shiver when Okita laughed and leaned forward to brush her hair away with a cheery "No problem."

Why was it always like this? Why?

Ah, but…

She knew why.

"I…" She placed the wrapped kimono down slowly, beside the shamisen, and reached forward until she found his arm. Her fingers trailed down and then closed around his wrists. Asuka shut her eyes and stood. "...will be certain to repay you for your gift."

Okita took a breath to say something but she stopped him by placing her other hand against his cheek. She pulled him onto the veranda, forward into the room, slid the screen door closed behind them so no one would see. Was it dark now, with the shadows growing as the sun set outside? Could he see her?

But it didn't matter.

Asuka pressed her hands to the sides of his neck, feeling the pulse in his veins, the overlong hair at his nape brushing her fingers. With a startled, suddenly guarded inhale Okita tried to jerk away, not knowing what she was doing, trying to do.

He froze when she leaned in and kissed him.

His lips were warm against hers.

Asuka tried not to dwell on that fact.


End file.
